They had a unicyclist at school;
'made a hell of a mess of the skirting.
Lorraine's avoiding their Sandy;
on account of the Next sweatshirt.
'Don't make out you didn't see me.'
is passed in Chinese whispers,
up and back among the herd
moving daily to the nursery gate.
Love's young dream, he's not
right in the head - and no one
forgets her threat to show her kids
on Kyle - smile, always smile,
smile for the camera and the court -
SMILE! and the world laughs at you.
They had juggling lessons on Monday
to help them with the new maths.
And there she is, six months on;
in pole-dancing pumps and Boden.
The Lorelei of Back Butts Lane.
She's the one, she's the one, that's her
who bought the Bernados bargain;
and had to the cheek to flaunt it.
Butter wouldn't melt, though Sandy
spreads it, thin as the black bagged
castaways she gave Lorraine
in sympathremacy. 'Barkin',
'barkin', she wants to say, but
Brian's heart complaints stop her.
The kids are learning lion taming
in the canteen: bring your own snap.